Suppressing Lactation After Loss
After miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death, your body will likely produce milk. This can bring intense emotions, thoughts, and physical sensations for bereaved parents. Here, I share what to expect if you want to suppress lactation after loss, options for preserving or donating your milk, and opportunities to connect with local grief & loss resources.
What to expect when suppressing lactation after loss
Full milk suppression may take several days to several weeks after your baby passes, as your body’s hormones rebalance to their new levels. You may feel some physical discomfort from inflammation or engorgement as your milk supply gradually drops. The following can help:
Wear a comfortable bra (not too tight)
Apply ice/cold packs to reduce inflammation
Cold cabbage leaves placed on the bare breast—it sounds like an old wives tale, but cabbage actually has chemical compounds that can reduce inflammation
Use breast pads to collect leaking milk, and replace the pads regularly to avoid fungal growth on your nipples
Do not pump, and avoid all breast stimulation if possible.
If needed, briefly hand express to alleviate pain
Herbal & pharmacological supports for suppressing lactation
There are both pharmacological and herbal supports that help reduce milk production. Herbal options include sage, peppermint, parsley, and jasmine, all of which you can find as loose leaf dried herbs to make into a tea. Some herbs have contraindications and shouldn’t be taken if you’re on certain medications, so check in with your healthcare provider before starting.
You can ask your midwife, OB, or PCP about pharmacological options. Common medications used to suppress milk supply are pseudoephedrine, cabergoline, bromocriptine, or high-estrogen birth control.
“What if I don’t want to suppress my milk yet?”
You don’t have to.
Many bereaved parents find pumping or hand expressing their milk to be a positive way to stay connected with their baby and move through the grief process in their own time. There are options for what to do with your milk if you aren’t ready to suppress lactation yet:
You may choose to donate your milk to a local milk bank. Many milk banks do not have a minimum donation requirement for bereaved mothers and will accept any amount you’d like to donate. In the Portland/Vancouver area, Northwest Mothers Milk Bank is our nearest option and has information on donating after loss.
You may choose to share your milk through informal milk sharing networks. You may have a local chapter of Eats on Feets, a Facebook group that facilitates safe and responsible informal milk sharing.
You may choose to keep your milk and use it in other ways. Running a hot bath with expressed milk swirled into the water can be soothing & healing for your skin, and is a beautiful way to care for yourself while staying connected with your little one. You may want to use your milk in a grief ritual, pour it into the Earth during a celebration of life for your babe, or use it to make art. The possibilities are vast.
Caring for yourself—body, mind, and soul
During this season of life after loss, caring for yourself is vital. If all you do each day is eat nourishing meals, drink some water, and breathe, then you have done enough. You’re allowed to let the laundry pile up. You’re allowed to take time off. You’re allowed to fall apart.
Grief is a strange, beautiful, awful, gnarling creature. There is no hurry to “move on” from this loss, and no right or wrong way to experience this time.
If it feels useful to you, there are many local and virtual support groups for bereaved parents. The Portland Grief House has regular virtual and in-person gatherings, and Postpartum Support International has directories where you can find local support in your area as well as virtual support groups.
Looking for support suppressing lactation? I can help. I offer in-home lactation support in the Vancouver, WA and Portland, OR area, including helping families with weaning and suppressing milk supply. Explore my services and reach out to schedule an appointment!
